Monthly Archives

September 2008

CHAPTER 1. The Marquess Oasis de Cameltoe

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Lost in the land where bad paintings go to die, the Marquess Oasis de Cameltoe, heir to the realm of Good Taste, forges ahead through the twisted brambles and gilt, searching for a way home. Armed with the artifact Clouded Judgement, a head that glowed when danger hovers, her royal breast bare and perky, she marvels at the sheer absence of negative space.

CHAPTER 2. Who’s house?

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The dulcet tread of the Marquess did not go unnoticed; the dark Lady of the amputee animals sensed the fresh and tender spirit ambling amidst the disembodied bits and moths and creatury things, and summoned her minions thus beginning the chase. Woe betide the innocently accessorized wandering the lairs of her legion.

CHAPTER 3. Bird of Prey

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She came to a turn amidst a boar infested chimney, and the Clouded Judgment shone excelsior, boding trouble for the questing Marquess. A quicksliver shadow flashed to her left, drowned by the sudden crash of something big behind…

CHAPTER 4. Running Scared

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Bursting from the inverted underbrush, or overbrush as it were, a fell apparition, the lion guardian of the Nether Regions, the arch fiend Derrick, or Duds for short. The terrified Marquess plunged forward into the mangy morass, the sulfur breath of the beast hot against her hips.

CHAPTER 5. Safe and Sound

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The moment all seemed lost, she is rescued by the demon Denver Barbados. Though initially wary of the motives of her would be savior, known to be the illegitimate adopted daughter of the Grandest Demon Ouchless Tumor, the Marquess was nonetheless won over by her magpie love of brassy accessories and horns. She felt safe crushed against the armored bosom of Barbados.

CHAPTER 6. Her Better Half

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The Demon Barbados demanded payment for the timely rescue of the royal personage, and only one would suffice. All royals carry within them a hand crafted wooden soul, made by the finest Balinese sculptors, as a better than average replacement for an actual one….forged in the nethers of Queen Babs Downey Jr, the soul was the Marquess’ only link between the realm of the Living, and compelling puppet theatre.

CHAPTER 7. A Giant Step

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Her pantomime soul finally lost to the Demon Barbados, the Marquess Oasis de Cameltoe suffers the ultimate penalty for her faith in wire and bits; pushed from the precipice into a void of carbon darkness where lurks the most fearful, lurky mystery accessory of them all. 1970’s David Bowie’s Codpiece.
To be continued………..